Sunday, September 4, 2011

...but I have too much hair.

Ok, per requests from a few of you, I'm going to try and start a blog. To alleviate the pressure of a first blog posting I'm going to cheat and use a little rant that I wrote a few years ago. Enjoy!

"The thing you have to remember about doing home improvement projects is that it will take you twice as long and cost twice as much as you originally planned." This is the advice my father in law offered to us before we started our home remodel.
My father in law is a wise man. I believe that the less hair a man has, the greater wisdom he accumulates. I don't mean to say that since a man is bald, he must be old and he's been around the block a few times so he must be wise. This isn't it at all. Without a head of luxurious hair to hinder him, the wisdom is absorbed directly through the scalp. (Don't believe me? Ever heard of Ghandi? Buddha? My Uncle Ted? All very great bald men, well, except for uncle Ted...) So you can imagine that a man like my father in law, who has not a lot of hair left, must be considered fairly wise.
Now there is an exception to the Wise Bald Man Theory (or the WBMT as I like to call it), and that is: THE COMB-OVER. This is not what I call a wise decision. Any man who grows his sideburns and or ear hair out three feet for the express purpose of combing it over and around his balding head is a FRAUDULENT WISE MAN and should not be heeded. If this man tries to offer advice, you must jam your fingers in your ears and run away screaming. A man who chooses to adopt such a ridiculous and humiliating image instead of embracing his own shining beacon of knowledge and light, is a sad man, a misguided man, a man to be pitied. The one thing he most definitely is not--- a wise man.
But my father in law is indeed a wise man. Unfortunately, my husband and I, being burdened as we are by our full heads of hair, weren't able to take his advice seriously. We jumped in head first, gung-ho about our home improvement. Now I can honestly say that I hope I never see a box of loose tile or a paint can in my home again. And even if I wanted to I couldn't, because we're out of money. Don't doubt the WBMT!


  1. Yay! Bean Blog!

    More posts please!!!!!

  2. I like the WBMT, and so does Dan, my WBM. He's especially wise because he's married to me, and I whisper sweet wisdoms to his receptive scalp all night long.

    So glad you have a blog, Bean.