Sunday, September 11, 2011

...but I really have to pee.

I really hate it when I go into a public restroom and they have those automatic flush toilets. Sure it's great that I don't have to worry about touching that disgusting flush handle and all the associated disgusting public germs that are on it. Not to mention I don't have to happen unsuspectingly on any surprises left in the toilet by the previous non-flusher to occupy that particular stall, but still I hate it, and let me tell you why. Have you ever tried to use one of those paper toilet seat covers (guys aren't going to relate to this, probably at all...at least not the guys I know). Ok, so you just get the seat cover situated, but before you can even get the pants unbuttoned the automatic flusher kicks on and WHOOSH!, there goes your seat cover down the drain. So you try again, this time thinking that you can outwit the flusher and pre-unbutton the pants before arranging the seat cover, but to no avail. In fact ,this can be worse because you might actually try to get contact only to have the seat cover flushed away a moment before touchdown and then you are sitting bare-assed on a public toilet seat which is exactly what you were trying to avoid in the first place! Anybody who knows me knows that if I'm using a public restroom at all it's because it's a real emergency and any delay (ie, a toilet seat cover being flushed down the toilet) can be quite disastrous. That's all I have to say.

6 comments:

  1. I know I 've said this before, but I LOVE this! It's exactly how I feel about the subject-- especially the peril of the pre-unbuttoned pants strategy.

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  2. I'm glad that you like it! Since you are my only reader I like to cater to your preferences. Let me know if there are any other important issues I should be covering...no pun intended.

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  3. I understand the seat drama. I don't like to sit my bum on the seat so I'm not "most guys!"

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  4. HEY I read UR stuff! Its AWESOME... SO there;p I don't use seat covers... does that make me a MAN?

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  5. Sooz,
    No that doesn't make you a man. It means you either have superior "hovering" skills, or really resistant butt-cheeks!

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  6. I'm a reader...and a seat-cover-user...and a fan (of you, not of losing my seat cover to the auto-flush). Furthermore, I would like to take this opportunity to add another auto-flush flaw: the splash. It's bad enough to have your seat cover whipped away while your arse is en route, but having your bottom delouged in the process really adds insult to injury.

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